Yogurt

Confession time. It's hard for me to admit, but ... I ... don't like yogurt. I mean, I use it for a lot of things: in place of sour cream, on spicy food. Generally as a condiment I like yogurt just fine. Frozen yogurt is amazing. But eating a bowl of yogurt by itself? I can't do it. Only total desperation and a lack of food in the house can drive me to such an extreme and masochistic act.

Om nom nom.

My partner, however, loves yogurt. He can eat a tub or two a week, easy. Before I learned to make yogurt we were spending about 3.50 a quart for maple flavored yogurt - two of those a week can add up pretty fast in the grocery budget. Homemade yogurt costs the same as milk, though to start off with you need either a bit of yogurt or a yogurt culture. If you know someone who makes homemade yogurt already I bet you could beg or barter a bit off them for free. I started with a couple spoon fulls of store bought. After you have home made yogurt on hand, you can use that as a started for your next batch. If you can keep up this endless cycle, you will never have to buy yogurt again! As for me, I occasionally forget to reserve some for the next round and end up buying a little cup of yogurt. 

Making yogurt is ridiculously simple. There are a couple tools that make it easier but are not essential, like a thermometer and a heating pad. I don't have a heating pad, so I use the oven with the light on for incubation.

What you need:
Milk - I use whole.
A few spoon fulls of plain yogurt
Quart size mason jar(s)
A large pot, big enough to hold however many jars you are making.
A thermometer (optional)
A jar lifter (optional) - a common canning tool, but you can use a potholder.

A half gallon of milk will make two quarts of yogurt, but of course you can make just one quart, or four, or however many you can fit in your pot. Now is a good time to take your "starter" yogurt out of the fridge.

Fill the jars with milk, put them in the pot, and fill the pot with hot water. Heat on medium until the thermometer in the milk, not the water, reads 180, or, if you are not using a thermometer, until the milk starts gently boiling. The double boiler technique keeps the milk from actually boiling, but allows it to scald which both kills bacteria and denatures some proteins to make the yogurt smooth. If the milk forms a skin, skim it off with a spoon.

 Remove the jars from the water once 180F is reached. Allow the milk to cool back down to 110F - I usually accomplish this by removing the jars from the pot, refilling it with ice water, and putting the jars back in until they drop to110F. If you are not using a thermometer, 110F is the temperature at which you can comfortably dip your finger in for ten seconds, about the same as hot bathwater. Add a spoon full of yogurt to each quart, stir, and cap.

Now you need to make sure your yogurt stays at a constant temperature of 110F, for 7 - 12 hours. You can use a heating pad, or the oven with the light on. I preheat the oven for a minute until the oven thermometer reads 110, and leave the yogurt overnight with the light on. Once I accidentally left it in the oven for a whole day and a half, and I was sure I had ruined it, but the yogurt was super thick and creamy, and still good! Cheese may be milk's leap toward immortality, but yogurt is much easier to make and extends the life of milk by weeks. Not bad. After your yogurt is done incubating, refrigerate it to cool it down. It will continue to thicken in the fridge.

 Microbiotic alchemy!

 Of course, it's not even worth mentioning that store bought yogurt usually contains all sorts of things that aren't milk, right? In case you need more incentive, here's the breakdown.

1 gallon organic milk, not on sale - $5.00
Home made yogurt - $1.25 a quart
1 quart of store bought yogurt, not on sale - $3.50

Thanks, Lactobacillus!

 P.S. The health benefits of yogurt are not to be scoffed at. However I do not recommend trying to get your probiotics from yogurt flavored Pepsi. 

IT'S GOOD FOR YOU!

Sauerkraut and kim chi are both essentially lacto-fermented cabbage. In the case of kim chi, other vegetables, spices, and sometimes even shrimp are added to the cabbage. Having made both kim chi and sauerkraut, I can assure you that they are both super easy to make! If you have never had lacto-fermented vegetables before, they have a pleasantly sour, salty flavor, retain their crunchy texture and - this is the best part - keep forever, or at least a year or so in the fridge.

Or just ferment it!

 Living in the age of refrigeration makes us think that leaving food out for even a couple hours will kill you, but in many cases that is just not true. Lacto-fermentation is extremely safe, even safer than water bath canning, because there is no chance of botulism. The fermentation process allows "good" microorganisms to outcompete those that might make you sick.

 I can think of no better way to preserve an abundance of cabbage for the winter months, and guys, you don't even have to can it! The fermentation process is all you need to do, and that basically amounts to letting it sit out for a few days. You can't go wrong here.

Pink kraut!

Here is what you need to make sauerkraut:
1 cabbage, red or green or half and half!
A quart sized mason jar, or non-metallic crock with a lid
2-4 teaspoons or salt, to taste
Water
A big wooden spoon, or potato masher, or meat hammer, or some other blunt heavy object
Large bowl

For kimchi:
All the equipment listed above
1 napa cabbage
3-4 teaspoons of salt, or more
A bunch of scallions
1 bulb garlic
2 inches ginger
4 or more red chilis
1 daikon radish
4 carrots (optional)
water

Here is what you do. Take the cabbage, peel off the outer leaves and give it a good wash. I have read in some places that you should use only organic cabbage because conventional cabbage will not ferment properly. This is bunk. Use what you have and ignore the crazies.

Cut the cabbage in half (length ways for napa) and then cut out the core. Lay each half on the flat side and slice the cabbage into fairly thin ribbons - maybe half an inch or so. Precision is not critical. For kimchi I like to cut the cabbage into two inch or so chunks. Chop up the other vegetables and spices as well.

Place the shredded cabbage, and for kimchi, the other vegetables and spices, in the large bowl with the salt and pound the bajeezus out of it. The cabbage will start to release its water as a result of being pounded - the salt aids in this as well.

You should be able to see the juice when you tip the bowl..

Pound until it is really juicy, then pack it in the mason jar, or crock, and add enough salt water to cover. Some folks recommend weighing down the cabbage with a (clean) rock to keep it under the water, but personally I haven't had any trouble just capping it as long as you make sure it is submerged in brine. I like to check it every day, and use a spoon to pack it down after taking a sample. If you are using a jar, screw the lid on loosely to allow gas and brine to escape during fermentation. Keep a dish under the jar to catch any liquid that comes out.

Leave the jars out for a few days to a week, until it stops bubbling. You can potentially leave it out at room temperature, but it will continue to ferment and get more sour if you do this. I have eaten kraut that was kept in a basement for five months - this is a preservation technique, after all - but I recommend refrigerating it once it tastes good to you, at least at first, until you get a better idea of how it will taste as it progresses.

That's all there is to it, folks. Kimchi fried rice is a delicious meal for those days when you are out of fresh vegetables and your blood sugar is too low to allow for a trip to the store ... at least, that's been my experience.

My first kimchi ever. I had three quarts, but this is the lone survivor of The Great Pickled Vegetable Consumption of 2011.

If you want to learn more about making sauerkraut or kimchi, I highly recommend Wild Fermentation by Sandor Ellix Katz. It is pretty much The Holy Book of Fermentation.

I leave you on this final note.

Cider is awesome! Put yeast in juice! Drink!

Warning: This post may have been written under the influence of hard cider. 

Twenty bottles of cider - that's a lot of booze.

I'm not a beer drinker, and while I like wine, I love cider! Wine is perfect for romantic, swanky dinners, but for a casual meal, you can't go wrong with cider. If you've never fermented your own alcohol before, don't despair; cider is as simple as it gets.

What you need:
Fermentation vessel, either a plastic bucket with a lid or a large glass jar (carboy) with a stopper.
Air lock
Juice, added Vitamin C is ok, added preservatives are not. Check the label.
Yeast, either liquid, such as Wyeast Cider Yeast, or dry, such as Nottingham Ale.
Bottles, 16oz or 750 ml
Siphon hose
Campden tablets, bleach water, or vinegar.

Racking cane, optional

The bucket should be food grade, with a lid that has a hole for an air lock. I use a six gallon size. These, and the yeast, are easily obtained from your Local Homebrew Store, or you can order them online. I spent about $50 to get set up on my first cider – that may sound like a lot, but when you consider the cost of a six-pack is easily $10, that I got twenty 750ml bottles out of it, and that I will continue to reuse the bucket and air lock for future brewing, it's pretty cheap!

For my first cider, I stuck to the basics. I used five gallons of locally grown Colorado apple juice, a vial of Wyeast Cider Yeast, a 6 gallon plastic fermentation bucket, and racking cane and hose. I obtained the juice from a local grocery and the bucket, yeast, siphon hose, and racking cane from my Friendly Local Homebrew Store (Hop To It!) in Boulder, Colorado – hence forth known as the FLHBS. Five gallon buckets from Home Depot work, too, just make sure it's food grade.

I has a bucket.

If you want to start small, I recommend buying your juice in one gallon glass jugs. You just add the yeast and pop on the stopper and airlock! Who knew booze could be so easy?

Cyser.

Paige's SUPER TASTY AMAZING CIDER RECIPE

Start with room temperature juice. If you are using liquid yeast, let it come to room temperature, too. When I made my first cider it was January and bloody cold, so I set my juice on the radiator to warm up a bit. Just don't melt your juice jugs. While you are waiting for things to warm up, sanitize your bucket, and airlock. You can use diluted bleach water (one tablespoon per gallon of water), or vinegar, but I use Campden tablets (one tablet per gallon). Put the airlock in the bucket, add your sanitizer, and swish it all around. Make sure to sanitize the lid, too. If you are using Campden tablets, you don't have to rinse anything, just dump the solution out before you pour in your juice. If you are using bleach water, or vinegar, give everything a good rinse before adding anything else. When your juice is no longer cold, pour it all into the bucket, and add the yeast. Snap on the lid, or, if you are using glass jars, the stopper, and add the airlock. I fill my airlock with hard liquor to keep out any airborne microbes that may infiltrate the yeast population - I used applejack, because I had it. Some people use Everclear to ensure maximum booziness, but you can also use water.

Now all you do is wait. I let my first cider ferment for a month, but that's not a hard and fast rule. Some books say to let it wait six months, and others say ten days. The important thing is to wait until it the airlock stops bubbling – that means the yeast have consumed all the sugar and your cider is pretty much done. If the airlock still bubbles once every two minutes or more, give it some more time before you bottle. Bottling too early can lead to bottle bombs - you don't want to mess with that. 

Noooooo!

After a month, I bottled my cider, using 750 ml clasp top glass bottles from my FLHBS. You can also recycle old beer bottles or wine bottles, but you have to buy a capper or corker, and new caps or corks. I dig clasp top bottles, because you can reuse them indefinitely without throwing away caps or corks.

Those are Campden tablets, I swear.

If you want sparkling cider, all you have to do is add some sugar when bottling, two teaspoons per gallon. Add the sugar to the bucket and stir, then let it sit to allow the sediment to settle back down to the bottom. Don't add more than this – see above warning about bottle bombs. I also used a racking cane and siphon hose to bottle my cider. You can do without the racking cane, but you have to suck the hose to get it flowing, and use your (clean!) finger to stopper it between bottles. I find the racking cane to be less sticky and more sanitary. Just attach the hose to the cane end of the racking cane, put the end of the hose in a bottle, pump the cane a few times to get the cider flowing, and continue with each bottle. Stop before you get to the very bottom - that's where the yeast goes to die.

TONIGHT WE FERMENT IN HELL

I let my cider age in bottles for a month before drinking. Like wine, it gets better with time, and so far every bottle is smoother than the last. Some books I have read recommend waiting at least six months before drinking - if you have the patience, go for it! I started drinking the still cider after a month, and the sparkling after a few months. I recommend chilling sparkling cider before opening, unless you want a dramatic cider-splosion! Be sure to always put away a few bottles for future drinking. After a year or two your cider may have transformed into something amazing.

For a very easy to understand, simple, and interesting introduction to homebrewing, check out Strong Waters, by Scott Mansfeld.

Sourdough Pancakes

So you have this little starter. Or perhaps it's not so little anymore. You feed it, and water it, you sing to it at bedtime. You nurture it, from flour and water, to a living, breathing creature. Think of it as a pet. Or rather, millions of little pets. Anyway. You put all this time and energy into creating something, and then, according to many sourdough recipes, you throw it away. Just chuck half of it daily.

I want you to join me in Just Saying No to throwing away perfectly good food. If nothing else, it costs you money. You wouldn't throw away money, would you? Heck no. What would your mama think?

So what is a person to do with this abundant starter, especially if it isn't ready to make bread with? The answer, my friends, is pancakes. Or muffins. Or any quick bread type application. Just because your starter isn't ready to leaven bread doesn't mean it can't be eaten! Quick breads are leavened with baking powder, or soda, or a combination, and thus don't require yeast to rise, which makes them a perfect home for your immature starter. Even better, this pancake recipe calls for two whole cups of starter - more than used for bread!

Enough jibber jabber. On to - PANCAKES!

Sourdough Pancakes

2 cups starter
1/2 cup whole wheat flour
1 egg
4 T melted butter, cooled
2 T sugar
1/2 t salt
1/2 t baking soda
1 T warm water

Combine the dry ingredients, then add the wet ingredients, except baking soda and warm water, and mix. Dissolve soda in warm water, and add last, folding in gently until combined, immediately before cooking. Unlike regular pancakes, bubbles on the edge do not indicate done-ness. Cook until all the bubbles pop, and the pancake is visibly cooked mostly through on the first side, then flip, and cook a couple more minutes until brown on both sides. Feeds two hungry people, usually on Saturday mornings, with fried eggs, maple syrup, and coffee.

Can you substitute stuff? Heck yes! If you are vegan, you could simply sub coconut oil or olive oil for butter, and a tablespoon of ground flax and three tablespoons of water for the egg. Easy as pancakes! In fact, I have accidentally made these with no egg before, and my partner said he preferred them that way. If you have objections to sugar, you could use honey or maple syrup (maybe even agave?) in place of it. I hear you can make starter with non-wheat flour, too, for gluten avoiding types, but I don't know enough about that to recommend it. If it intrigues you, I recommend further research.

This recipe was adapted from Heavenly Homemakers myriad sourdough pancake recipes. They have an amazing whole wheat sourdough recipe collection, so if you are experiencing an abundance of starter, check them out! If you have an aversion to religiousity mixed in with good sense recipes, however, consider yourself forewarned.

How To - Sourdough Starter

Welcome to the DIY Revolution! Why DIY? Some folks do it to save money, to cut back on fossil fuel use, to avoid processed food, to get back to basics, to learn ancestral skills, and to avoid the impending zombie  apocalypse. Whatever your reasons are, they are good reasons. Therefore, I am going to skip over all that and focus on the practical.

I love bread. When I began baking at home, I was satisfied with replacing my previous whole wheat bread with homemade, but I missed sourdough. I assumed that sourdough was out of my league. I was just a lowly novice. And, didn't you need some 100 year old starter? Where the hell was I supposed to find that? Luckily for me, I came across some information on the interwebs about making your own starter. Basically it came down to, mix flour and water. Wait. Add more. Wait.

Everything I ever knew about sourdough was wrong. My world was changed. Forever. Sourdough needn't be descended from hardy wild yeast strains first captured by crusty miners. You can make it, and guys, it is easy! You are about to be inducted into the world of sourdough. Hold on to your hats.

This, and water, is all you need to make starter.

Day 1 - Get yourself a mason jar. The quart size, guys, not a pint. Into this holy vessel, put ye one third of a cup of flour of the refined variety. Also add ye one third of a cup of water - not overly chlorinated, lest ye piss off the yeasties - so, filtered, preferably. Stir this concoction with a spoon hand-carved of the wood of the olive tree. Or any old non-metallic spoon. Place the lid upon the vessel. Let sit for 24 hours.

I love you, Mason jars.

Day 2 - Add a third of a cup of water, and a third of a cup of flour while chanting or saying a prayer (optional) and stirring (mandatory).

Days 3-6 - Continue in this fashion for four more days. If your jar runneth over, try making some sourdough pancakes.

The first signs of life - bubbles!

Day 7 - Examine your sourdough. Take a big whiff. Does it smell alcoholic and sour? Is there a layer of scary looking bubbly liquid on top? If so, congratulations! You have made sourdough! In my experience, you can tell when a starter is viable (harboring the yeast populations needed to leaven bread) by smell, as it will go from smelling bloody awful to smelling like sourdough within a few days. However, I am a smell-oriented person. If you are not, wait an extra week to be sure. Keep feeding your starter every day. If it is bubbling, and there is a layer of liquid (known as the "hooch" - yes, it is really hooch, but I don't recommend drinking it - don't ask how I know) on top, you are on the right track.

If, after two weeks, you have seen no signs of life in your starter, and it looks and smells just like water and flour, something has gone wrong. Perhaps there were not enough wild yeasts in your flour, or your water was too chlorinated. Try again using organic flour and boiled water. Have patience.

Day Post-Readyness - After your starter smells like sourdough, or two weeks, you can keep it in the fridge for up to a week without feeding it. Those little yeasty beasties will just hibernate until you are ready to use them. Take the starter out of the fridge the day before you want to bake with it, and when it reaches room temperature, feed it. After you use it, feed it again before you put it back  in the fridge.

Sourdough - magical, mystical, and obtainable. Also delicious. There you have it, folks.

Next up! Sourdough pancakes, aka, why you shouldn't toss your starter. (Hint - because it is delicious).